A More Reliable Path to Joy
By Wallace Goddard · October 28, 2019
We all want joy. And we know the formula for getting it. Yet we often muddle along in misery instead of climbing toward joy.
As humans, we fixate on our disappointments and frustrations. We regret the hopes that remain unfulfilled. We sigh under the weight of all we have to get done. Daily experiences seem tedious and boring. The media bombards us with bad news. We are disheartened to discover that family members and friends don’t meet our expectations.
Eventually we begin to wonder, “Is this all there is to my life? What reason do I have to be happy?”
Barbara Fredrickson points out that “You start out a little bit worried, ruminate, and your worry expands [into lifelong low-grade misery or even] a full-blown anxiety attack. Take a little bit of sadness, add rumination, and you bring on the symptoms of depression. Likewise for anger. Experience a set-back, rant and rave internally, and you may well lash out in violence or become a verbal loose cannon. With the starter dough of honest negativity, rumination creates an expanding rat’s nest of gratuitous negativity that usurps your mental space.” (Barbara L. Fredrickson, 2009, Positivity, New York: Crown, p.164)
The World’s Proposal for Happiness
Discontent grows. We deserve more than we are getting. And if we had more, we would be happy. More money. More stuff. A more attractive body. More excitement through exciting relationships. More time to do whatever we want. More respect. More wishes fulfilled.
Rather than imagining that happiness comes from getting “more” it turns out happiness can be found in better appreciating what we already have.
A More Reliable Path to Joy
The research on optimal human experience says that people are more likely to experience joy when they develop the ability to savor the good things they have in their lives. We savor when we notice and appreciate aspects of our lives that we might otherwise take for granted. We also savor when we choose to focus on the positive experiences of each day instead of framing our day in terms of disappointment or frustration.
We savor when we recognize the blessings that are bestowed upon us each day and are grateful for His tender mercies. We are thankful that if we view our life through the lens of faith, God will demonstrate an uncanny ability to turn any life experience into a blessing.
Are you interested in a remarkably predictable process for flooding our souls with refreshing joy? Consider the scriptural invitation: “He who receiveth all things with thankfulness shall be made glorious; and the things of this earth shall be added unto him, even an hundred fold, yea, more” (D&C 78:18–19).
Do you want a stiff jolt of joy? The formula is simple: Sit down and record those things for which you are grateful. After recording those that come easily, push yourself to frame your challenges as blessings. See what happens.
Don’t qualify your gratitude: “Well, sometimes I’m glad for my kids, but . . . .” Cut loose. Find the good and celebrate it.
I tried this process myself. May I share the results with you? You may not be interested in my blessings, but perhaps you will feel the power of gratitude as you watch a fellow
traveler trot toward joy as he tallies heaven’s bounty.
There is the risk that you will say, “Well, you have blessings, I have none.” I will not deny that I am blessed. But gratitude is a state of mind. It is the choice to see the roses among the thorns of mortality.
So, here are a few expressions of thanks to friends, family, and heaven........
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